Why is it that most people require a cheerleader in their lives? Why is it that they seek the validation of others in order to feed their insecurities? What is missing in their life that makes them seek to fill that void with another human being? I have found that many people are in a state of lack, where they individually feel like they are missing out on something and desperately trying to fill that gap with anything in the moment.
It is sad to watch let alone to know that I was in that same space at one point in my life. The hardest thing to do is to delve deep into your own life and ask the tough questions of yourself and see what you are presenting. Your reaction or other’s reactions to you is quite indicative of what is going on in your present life. Take the time to look around and see what is being presented to you in a realistic fashion. You have to look at both the good and the bad and see what it is that you bring forward that enables this in your life. These are hard exercises to do because it requires reflection of yourself and people do not like to admit the negative perspective of their personalities. However I have found that if you know both your strengths and your weaknesses you are less likely to require a cheerleader. Instead you would gladly welcome one because they would strengthen what you already know about yourself.
Creating co-dependency with another individual is not the best place to start a relationship with and it would only lead to catastrophic endings for both involved. If two people get together who are both struggling with their own insecurities they will sabotage the possibility of getting together. The best way to figure out what you are bringing forward into a possible relationship is what you are receiving from the other person who is attracted to you. Their actions are showing you what you are also not liking about yourself. The only way to change what you attract is to change how you think about certain things. If you choose to look at things this way and less on the emotional level, you can save yourself some grief.
When we are lacking something in ourselves, we have a tendency to try to look for it in another person which will sometimes backfire. If we are whole and comfortable with who we are and what we bring forward, then you will have more to give another. To be someone’s sunshine is always welcome. But when you get to know each other better that is when a cheerleader role should come into play.
Joanne Robinson
