We all need to come to terms that people are not perfect. The sooner we recognize this lesson the happier and better our relationships will be. The pedestal does not belong underneath another person so that it leads you to worship them and anxiously await their every action. The other person did not ask for the adoration, nor can they possibly maintain the expectation of being honored in such a way.
What happens when you put someone on a pedestal? They are eventually knocked off due to unrealized and or unknown expectations that were not fulfilled. To be human is to be imperfect. We all have lessons to learn along this thing called life and people grow and change along the way. That change that has taken place, can also be what they no longer aligns with the other person. Inevitably the person looking at the one on the pedestal will think that they were dishonest in their self-portrayal however it is only an effect of idolization.
I’m not saying that you need to keep your expectations of others down to a minimum. Really what you need to do is to keep your standards of how you want to be treated versus what can they give to you to make your life feel more meaningful. Maintain what it is you want from another however I urge you to always keep in mind that for all the goodness someone holds, they equally have a dark side to them which makes them human.
In order to truly love someone, you have to adore all the wonderful traits that they have and yet accept the darkness that they keep within themselves. When I say darkness, I do not mean narcissistic or cruel traits, more along the lines of insecurity or attachment style that they have that you may consider as a weakness. One’s weakness can also be seen as a strength by others. Try not to judge another person without taking the time to get to know them. They did not ask to be put on a pedestal and I’m sure if you asked them, they would say that they would prefer to walk beside you holding your hand and enjoy getting to know you to see if you can offer each other potential to grow together.
People come with experiences that make them who they are. Try to look at others with tolerance and try not to place such high expectations on another person as they did not ask for it. If you place people above yourself, they will invariably come crashing down due to your illusions of what you thought they were versus who they truly were hiding.
Joanne Robinson
