Dating in today’s environment of instant gratification can be challenging if you perceive it that way. Getting to know someone is like trying out a new dance together. You have to try to figure out if you have compatible rhythms, style, tastes and temperaments in order to sway together in harmony. There may be times that you step on each other’s toes however how you deal with that awkwardness determines whether or not you can succeed further.
We all know that the first time coming together will be awkward however you have to lean into that experience without any expectations that It will not seamlessly flow without work and practice. To think that things just flow naturally is only an illusion that Hollywood sells us. Dancing is a delicate balance of movements and getting to know how the other person is moving. There may be times where they step on your toes, however that is the delicious part of the dance because you get to see how the other person reacts and that will determine whether or not you should proceed with your current dance partner.
As with everything, in order to get better at something, you have to practice and your partner also has to be willing. If one of you are not interested in learning how to move together than it is time to find a new partner. Sometimes we are too caught up in what the finale will look like that we don’t take the time to appreciate the work and practice and the getting to know each other that when the song is finished you feel disappointed as if something is missing.
Magic can happen when you don’t focus on the finish line or your version of what that is but rather take the time to lean in and enjoy being led in the right direction. Go with the sway of the movements of two people joining and learning how to work together. Enjoy the process of the newness of the experience. As with everything there are always choices to be made.
In the process of learning the gentle dance of togetherness you may discover that this dance partner is not the right fit and you both seem to stumble with each other. There is nothing wrong with moving onwards by thanking your person for the dance and then moving on to find a different partner that can move in unison.
Too many people continue to struggle to maintain the awkward dance that never eventually flows naturally because people are afraid to not have a dance partner. Sometimes learning to dance alone to discover your best moves is the best dance of all.
Joanne Robinson
